What is the difference between Jurassic Park and Microsoft?

One is an over-rated high tech theme park based on prehistoric information and populated mostly by dinosaurs, the other is a Steven Spielberg movie.

Chris Rock

My mother was real cheap. Okay, practical. She would never pay a bill on time. "If they ain't cutting it off, I ain't paying." She would say, "The first bill is a suggestion. If they really want you to pay it, then they'll come and tap on your window." Her whole philosphy of life was: if you die owing money, then you've won.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

You know the worst thing about n****rs? N****rs always want credit for some s**t they supposed to do. A n****r will brag about some s**t a normal man just does. A n****r will say some s**t like, "I take care of my kids." You're supposed to, you dumb motherf**ker! What kind of ignorant s**t is that?! "I ain't never been to jail!" What do you want, a cookie?! You're not supposed to go to jail, you low-expectation-having motherf**ker!

People are starving all over the world, what do you mean, "Red meat will kill you"? Don't eat no red meat? No, don't eat no green meat! If you're one of the chosen few people in the world lucky enough to get your hands on a steak, bite the s**t out of it!